SUPER-EXTRA

I hold love and she pulls me close and exhales. She relaxes in my arms. For a short period of time she is at peace. Then we part ways. Out of my arms, away from my reach, Love emotionally pushes me away again. She puts her guard back up. She is able to repair the wall she put up against the world. Love calls me. She tells me how hurt she has been in her past. She tells me she’s not ready for anything. Love is so scared she makes up reasons for me to walk away. She tells me I should date other people. She hints that maybe we’re just meant for a season and not a lifetime. I think a small part of her wishes I would walk away so she can return to her cold emotionless routine. She…..disappears sometimes. She goes back into her lonely cold world where she is not happy, but she is safe. Safe from being hurt again. Safe from being disappointed. Safe from me and the unknown. I’ve gotten too close. I have potential. I’m knocking on her walls and they are starting to come down brick by brick. Walls put up to protect her from hurting again. Walls established to allow her to function after the end of her last relationship. Poor Love…scared, confused, lonely, and vulnerable behind a wall created from scars and scabs of her past.

Her first boyfriend who was dumb enough to cheat on her. You allowed her to move on and take the first steps into my arms. You gained her trust and her love and chose to not appreciate or cherish it. Thanks.

Can’t forget the next boyfriend who neglected to tell her he was married. You crushed what little faith she had left in men. You destroyed her spirit. She lost all hope in relationships, trust, and happiness with a man. Thanks for stopping by.

And last but not least, her father, who never gained the title of Dad. You were too sorry to stick around but I’m so glad you came. It was best you did not stick around if you were not man enough to show her what love and respect was from a man. You made the right decision since you were a punk. I want to thank all of you. All of you delivered her to me.

Despite all of your sinful efforts, she is heavenly. Her touch makes me forget how cold I am. Her voice makes me forget how bad my day was. She kisses my lips and breathes hope into me. I dip into her soul and stir up fantasies of our future together. I stare into her eyes and realize she’s looking for something within me. Her past has made her forget how it should be. Fear and pain have created walls around her being. Her, an Angel who lost sight of her wings. And me, killing her softly.

I keep hearing this from a lot of women. Let’s see, where to begin? Let’s get some things out the way…There are some men out here who truly never grew up. They are grown boys. They still cling to their toys. They still run around here trying to put their D*** into any and everything. 30-year-old men bragging about how many times they got shot. Proclaiming how many kids they have as if it’s a passage to manhood. “I take care of my kids. My child support is on time every time” as if their child is another bill they have included into their budget. So called men who are such failures in their own lives their only conversation is who they screwed last night. Men who never grew up to achieve anything of their own. Never crossed over to manhood to truly work hard to become a better person. Men who self-esteem has sunk so low in their own lives they violently attempt to control the one thing they have left…their woman. These men are grown boys. The definition of a man has been forgotten and replaced by these sorry examples. So while the statement is exagerated. They do make a good point. It is a sad truth. This statement is the result of the frustration and impatience growing in women because of the ever-growing number of boys walking around here thinking they are men. 
 
But we must all take responsibility of our actions.

There can be no argument there are a lot of grown boys out here who are not worth much. They don’t work. They lay on the couch all day. They drive their woman’s car while they are at work. But how do they get away with it? Too often I hear women ask…why don’t he get off the couch? He had the car all day, why didn’t he look for a job? Why is he so violent? All these questions are truly irrelevant. The question is NOT why did he do these things; the question is why did you ALLOW it? How many times are you going to ask these questions of a man who is not worth your presence? How many times are you going to let a boy treat you like a girl/slut/object instead of a Queen? How long are you going to stay in a relationship with a boy if you want a man? Or…maybe…just maybe…you have also forgotten what the definition of a man is. 

I’m done.

What you got to say?

So when this site was just an idea, I asked for help on what to call it. Upon reading my idea, someone who knew me from my past relationship questioned…”How can I write about relationships if I never loved anyone.”

Actually I have been in love before. I do know the feeling. But to their credit, they did not know me back then. She only knows that I’ve been in a relationship that ended after four years. The primary reason of the breakup being I didn’t love my ex. My ex decided she needed to find someone to love her, so we broke up. So as long as she has known me, I stayed four years with a woman I never loved. So lets continue with her point of view. I’ll be the first to say, I don’t have all the answers. I have learned a lot about women through friendships and two long term relationships with some wonderful women. I’m not an expert, but I do know that love does not conquer all. At the least, both participants must bring communication, trust, and responsibility in addition to love to have a chance at a long lasting healthy relationship. Both people must possess these attributes for the relationship to last. I know, because some of these attributes my ex and I possessed and others we did not. The important thing is too learn from it. If you want advice on relationships, talk to people you trust. Always question your source. We all are human. Some single people want you to be single with them. There are men and women who harbor harsh feelings towards the opposite sex based on their pass experiences. You can not ask a bitter person for advice on how to continue a good relationship that is going though a bad period. Their solution will quickly be to break off the relationship. Do not talk to your bitter friends. Talk to those that are unbiased. Who can give you an objective opinion. if you want to make a struggling relationship work, talk to someone who is happily married. Find out what their struggles were and how they got passed them. I know a lot about relationships based on my good and bad experiences. I have learned so much from making mistakes in a relationship and coming back to the table to make it better. You can learn as much from an honest person who is willing to share why they are still married for 30 years as you can from a person who let the love of their life slip through their hands. So in answering the question, I know a lot about relationships, but I have so much more to learn. More importantly, this site was not created for me and my views. It was created for us. I have a lot to say, but I have a lot to learn. This site is for us. I look forward to all of your views, input and advice based on your experiences, the good and bad.

That’s all I got to say.

What you got to say?