SUPER-EXTRA

I know someone who works very hard. They are very dedicated. They are also very frustrated. They are very frustrated because despite their hard work and dedication they never fully complete a task. They are not organized so they try 30 ways to resolve the issue. They focus so hard on the resolution that they never take time to examine the issue. They work very hard trying but are not productive. Examine the problem before you work on the solution.

Never confuse work with productivity.

I know another good person who works hard for others. They attend meetings on others behalf. They make phone calls on others behalf. They contribute heavily to others success who they believe in. They work so hard for others they rarely have time for their selves. If u ask them they will proudly note the accomplishments they helped others achieve never recognizing their life has been at a standstill for years. People have moved in and out of this person’s life and left them with little more than a thank you. For years they have used their car, gasoline, time, and money to help others reach their goals. They have worked so hard for others who never gave back. Years of work with no personal accomplishments.

Never confuse work with productivity.

When I was younger, I use to ask people how they knew they were in love and they said you just know. How the hell do I just know if I never been in love? I wondered how do they know they are really in love if they can’t even describe it to me? I promised myself I would be able to answer the question if I ever fell in love. I discovered love at 18. I had been at college for three months. During that short time I had already been with some women on campus. I was having so much fun with different women I couldn’t imagine just messing with one. Everyday on campus was like a holiday. I couldn’t wait to go outside and see what the ladies was gift wrapped in. I liked the ones who were thick in some tight jeans. But I digress. November, 1994. I was visiting my friend at the time that went to another college up the street from my school. We were sitting on the bed comparing notes when she bust into the room unannounced. She was very excited. She was talking about something. I couldn’t make out what it was cause she was talking so fast. She busted through the door, stood in the middle of the room ranting about something, and then walked back out. She was in the room less then 3 minutes. I looked at my friend. “Who is that?” He gave me her name and I was out the door. I had caught up to her by the time she got to the elevator. The beginning of Love began on a short ride in the elevator. By the time we got off she had my full attention. She had my number. We parted.

I laid in my bed thinking about her that night. She was thick, tall, with a beautiful smile. She had on a black sweatshirt and loose jeans and it still could not hide her shape. It was weird. I laid in my bunk bed and never thought about how it would be to f*** her. I thought about her smile. I thought about how excited she was when she burst through the room. I thought about seeing her again. Several days passed. I came home from class one day and listened to my messages. April…skip. Linda…skip. Lakeisha…skip. Love left a message. Her voice was soft. “Hi. I just called to see how you are doing. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.” Four women had called me but only one mattered. I was excited when she called. I had a list of women I was already hitting and several more I was targeting on campus. I forgot about all of them when I heard her on the machine. “Hey, how are you”. We talked for hours. I loved her voice. It was raspy in a sexy way like T-Boz. We made plans to hook up on Saturday. It was understood I was going to spend the night. Everything was more than I could’ve hoped for. I woke up Saturday excited. I took my shower. Opened up the little fridge in my dorm room and made me a sandwich. I walked out my dorm and made my way to the main street. Bus 805 right on time. Half-hour later I was in front of her dorm. She came to the front door. I was excited she was coming for me. She opened up the door and welcomed me into her arms. This felt right. I never felt right before. I felt a woman’s tits against my chest. I felt how fat a woman’s butt was before. I felt how wide a woman’s hips were before. I felt all that when I held Love, but she felt right.

We talked all night. She showed me around the campus. We walked and talked. Held hands a little. We laughed some more. We talked until the sun went down. We finally went back to her room. It was a small room she shared with her best friend. Two beds on the opposite side of the room and the bathroom on the wall facing both beds. We talked until her friend started snoring. I was looking into her eyes. She was staring into mine. Her soft hand in mind holding it like it was our routine now. We fell asleep. Her in her bed and me on the floor beside it. Condoms back at my dorm room because it never crossed my mind to bring them. Five messages Saturday night from women wanting to know if I’m available. Condoms next to the answering machine. And me lying on the floor beside the bed Love was sleeping in.

I asked somebody to give me a topic and this is what they came up with. This isn’t even a hard one for me but since they suggested it, I shall proceed……I pray people experience happiness that I have. I love life. I love the sun and the rain. I’ve learned to appreciate life. I didn’t wake up like this. I went through hell and back. Me and Devil rode shot gun a couple of times. Me in the driver’s seat while the Devil in the passenger seat and a bottle between us. That was the crew a lot of times. We would ride out at night. I would wake up in front of my house sometime later not knowing how I got there. Tough times.  But they are my past times. I thank God for every day. I’ve come so far. I’m happy. I pray you feel the same. God woke you up this morning. You should be excited about that. I wake up and look outside. I open up the door so I can feel the air. I text my closest folks to let them know I made it to the morning and I’m thinking of them.

Life happens fast. So does death. People living their lives on ‘time-out’ status.

I hugged my friend at school on Friday and then got the call Saturday she was dead.

2 years later, I came home after seeing my girlfriend one night. 2 hours later I was trying to pull my father back on the bed because he was having a stroke and I didn’t want him to fall on the floor. Two weeks later he was dead.

Live your life. Life is too short to have your life on ‘time out’.

Forget earrings, cars, clothes, and diamonds. Life is the most precious gift you have. Some people waste it on watching TV all day. Some live to work and work to live. People spend their days being so careful that that they never discover satisfaction, happiness, love, or all the condiments that come with life because they are so afraid to live. They are so careful with their life that they don’t realize they are not living. I thank God for this gift. I spent years wasting it. I spent years being selfish with it. He gave me life when I tried to throw it away. I now spend my life giving it back to him. LIVE, LOVE, AND LAUGH.

I wish I had vacation spot. Somewhere I can unload all my burdens. I can just go there and forget about my troubles at home. I would find peace there. Maybe meet someone that provides all my needs. It would be my home away from home. I would get comfortable. Enjoy everything the spot had to offer. And just go back home during the rainy season because I know it will be there whenever I decide to come back. A vacation spot.