I know what Love is
When I was younger, I use to ask people how they knew they were in love and they said you just know. How the hell do I just know if I never been in love? I wondered how do they know they are really in love if they can’t even describe it to me? I promised myself I would be able to answer the question if I ever fell in love. I discovered love at 18. I had been at college for three months. During that short time I had already been with some women on campus. I was having so much fun with different women I couldn’t imagine just messing with one. Everyday on campus was like a holiday. I couldn’t wait to go outside and see what the ladies was gift wrapped in. I liked the ones who were thick in some tight jeans. But I digress. November, 1994. I was visiting my friend at the time that went to another college up the street from my school. We were sitting on the bed comparing notes when she bust into the room unannounced. She was very excited. She was talking about something. I couldn’t make out what it was cause she was talking so fast. She busted through the door, stood in the middle of the room ranting about something, and then walked back out. She was in the room less then 3 minutes. I looked at my friend. “Who is that?” He gave me her name and I was out the door. I had caught up to her by the time she got to the elevator. The beginning of Love began on a short ride in the elevator. By the time we got off she had my full attention. She had my number. We parted.
I laid in my bed thinking about her that night. She was thick, tall, with a beautiful smile. She had on a black sweatshirt and loose jeans and it still could not hide her shape. It was weird. I laid in my bunk bed and never thought about how it would be to f*** her. I thought about her smile. I thought about how excited she was when she burst through the room. I thought about seeing her again. Several days passed. I came home from class one day and listened to my messages. April…skip. Linda…skip. Lakeisha…skip. Love left a message. Her voice was soft. “Hi. I just called to see how you are doing. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.” Four women had called me but only one mattered. I was excited when she called. I had a list of women I was already hitting and several more I was targeting on campus. I forgot about all of them when I heard her on the machine. “Hey, how are you”. We talked for hours. I loved her voice. It was raspy in a sexy way like T-Boz. We made plans to hook up on Saturday. It was understood I was going to spend the night. Everything was more than I could’ve hoped for. I woke up Saturday excited. I took my shower. Opened up the little fridge in my dorm room and made me a sandwich. I walked out my dorm and made my way to the main street. Bus 805 right on time. Half-hour later I was in front of her dorm. She came to the front door. I was excited she was coming for me. She opened up the door and welcomed me into her arms. This felt right. I never felt right before. I felt a woman’s tits against my chest. I felt how fat a woman’s butt was before. I felt how wide a woman’s hips were before. I felt all that when I held Love, but she felt right.
We talked all night. She showed me around the campus. We walked and talked. Held hands a little. We laughed some more. We talked until the sun went down. We finally went back to her room. It was a small room she shared with her best friend. Two beds on the opposite side of the room and the bathroom on the wall facing both beds. We talked until her friend started snoring. I was looking into her eyes. She was staring into mine. Her soft hand in mind holding it like it was our routine now. We fell asleep. Her in her bed and me on the floor beside it. Condoms back at my dorm room because it never crossed my mind to bring them. Five messages Saturday night from women wanting to know if I’m available. Condoms next to the answering machine. And me lying on the floor beside the bed Love was sleeping in.